As I sit here writing, I am sort of half-assedly watching the Grammy Awards. Honestly, because I care not for crime dramas and don’t want to invest the time to flip through 300 channels to find something that sucks less. Even though I am writing on the old blog, a few things have caught my eye, and here is where you realize it’s your lucky day…I am going to share my thoughts with you right here.

1. U2 could record a polka version of the Happy Birthday Song and it would get the nod for best album. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some love for U2, but let’s be honest. Their past 15 albums are all pretty much same shit different drama at this point. And what the hell is going on with Larry Mullen’s “Broke Back” hair do?

2. The standard Grammy formula is to get as many old people as possible on the stage at one time, add in a couple of current one hit wonders and make sure everyone is from such a variety of genres that they have no chance of sounding remotely good. Oh yea, all the better if one of the women is dressed like she has absolutely no clue she is carrying around 30 pounds of excess ass fat.

3. Your nomination for album of the year is a no-brainer if you possess the grammatical skills of the average American 9 year old. Once you obtain the writing skills of a 10 year old, your lyrics will make sense, therefore rendering you ineligible.

4. Sheryl Crow is wearing the sort of frock one would potentially select to attend a bat-mitzvah, if one were 12 years old and feeling a bit risky. She is topping her attempt at formal wear by sporting a sassy ponytail. Now, I’m not a professional fasionista, but I just think it’s all about wrong to bust out gym hair with a formal “gown” on a nationally televised awards show. Especially after Labor Day. Geesh!

5. The level of clueless ness in the recording industry is snowballing out of control.