When I was in my twenties I tended to hang out with women who were several years older than me. I specifically remember one friend’s 35th birthday. What I remember about it was thinking “Holy Shit! Thirty-five…that’s old as crap!” All of our other friends started telling her stuff like “Wow, you sure look great for 35.” As if 35 was it. Time to hang it up, start listening to “soft rock” stations and buy your next seasonal wardrobe exclusively at stores like Sears, Chico’s and Coldwater Creek.

Another friend decided we should all meet up at our favorite “underground” type hotspot for her 35th, only to spend a large chunk of our night listening to her cry about being too old to have children. I felt like I was literally baring witness to her ovaries shriveling up before my very eyes.

Well, while many female Bloggers attended the Blogher convention this past weekend, I was busy turning 35. Officially old.

What type of wild shenanigans did my 35 year old self choose to get into? I spent this birthday eating like calories didn’t matter. Birthdays in my past required days of recovery. The only recovery from this past weekend will be an extra long run. I would say that’s pretty sad, but many a woman spends her 35th blowing it out on faded wash, waist high jeans and t-shirts with pictures of kitty cats or light houses on them, so with that in mind I think I’m pretty much kicking ass.

Hotwheels Birthday Cake

At-man wanted to decorate my birthday cake and selected a Hot Wheels theme. I seriously think this is the best cake I ever had. I mean…there were cars driving up the SIDE of the cake! Holy Smokes! How could they do that? And it was filled with Oreo ice cream! I can still feel the creamy icing warming the arteries of my heart. I also have no worries about reduced lung capacity as I age because the older I get, the more help I seem to get with my candles.

Birthday Parte’

I had asked for gift cards so I could get some new fall duds, and not only did I get my birthday wish, D also sent me to the mall ALL BY MYSELF! I got to try on jeans with not one single person bursting into tears. The last time I bought a pair of jeans, At-man for whatever reason was rolling around on the floor and actually got his little arm stuck in the fitting room door at American Eagle. It was so stuck even I started to panic. I know you are probably starting to laugh that I was jean shopping at American Eagle, what with being so far from the age of 15 and all. I know…it cracks me up walking around the mall with the shopping bag with the smiley co-eds and the “Live Your Life” slogan on the side. I am living my life! I’m 35 for god sakes! It just happens that they have a good cut for my flat ass and they are cheap! The best part, they have one particular cut that keeps your coin-slot under wraps and the named of this cut you might ask? That’s right…The Hipster! I also got this shirt which cracks me up because it is called “Homecoming”. I liked it so much I also got the “Head of the Class“.

I even went bra shopping but when I finally did find the perfect fit they didn’t have a single color I could use. At least I know for future reference and with bras, knowing is half the battle.

So there you have it. I am old, and have finally found the right jeans to inexpensively contain my coin-slot. All in all a pretty good birthday even if it does signify my official entry into old age. I have been wondering why women tend to lie and say they are younger. I think I am going to start to tell people I’m 40. That way everyone will think “Man! She really looks amazing!” If you tell everyone your 5 years younger they may think “Who does she think she’s fooling?” or worse “WOW! She really looks like crap to be so young.” I’m actually fine with getting old anyway. As long as I can still get a Hot Wheels cake I’ll be just fine.