From the moment I heard the words “It’s a boy!” 6 1/2 years ago I have lived in fear of this day. I have tried to shelter my little one, protect him from a world fraughted with commercialism, but it was all in vain. Only 5 mere minutes ago, on this very spot, At-man said it. No, not the “F” word, not the “S” word either…It was the “P” word. Pokemon.

Can someone please tell me what the hell a Poke Mon is? I am already struggling with Transformers, but at least I get the idea behind them. Robots from space who can transform. No problem. My only problem is keeping the names and personalities straight. If I had a dime for every time I got a name wrong I’d be rich. There is no rhyme or reason to them. OPTIMUS PRIME…and his pal, Bumblebee. Bumblebee? Really? It sounds like a pretty silly name for such an intimidating robot from space, but every time we pass a yellow car on the road I can hear Em yell out from the backseat “IT”S BUMBLEBEE MOM!”.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about is how easy it is to forget what a bizarre world elementary school is. I don’t think any of these people can possibly participate in the real world. They live in a box in the back of their classrooms only to surface each morning striking both fear and laughter into the lives of children everywhere. One teacher has a hairstyle like this
only her face looks like this

Then there is another teacher, a lovely woman who looks like this., only in a skirt. I kid you not. They make me think back to my 1st grade teacher who’s left boob hung about 5 inches farther down than her right. So much so that 6 year olds actually took notice. Or my 4th grade teacher who’s face looked like leather and always had her wig on crooked.

I wonder if they actually recruit teachers this way, wondering through the supermarket looking for anyone with a horrific facial mole, or an incredibly outdated hairstyle. Now don’t get mad at me for saying this, I love me some teachers. Anyone with enough patience to stay in a room full of children under 10 for crappy pay has my utmost respect. But you have to admit it’s quite a coincidence to see so many characters under one roof. At-man’s teacher is actually a hottie. He is always wanting to color in pictures for her, bring her gifts. It’s really sweet. I wonder what she makes of her co-workers.

In other news, we took the boys to church for the first time ever today. No the building did not burst into flames upon our arrival, thank you very much. There has been a bit too much of the “gimmies” going on this holiday season and even though D and I aren’t overtly religious people I do think it will be a good thing for the kids to experience. This way they can have all the facts and when they get older they can decide for themselves, having the benefit of experience. Em liked it because they gave him a donut. At-man liked it because he got to go to Sunday school with his best friend, even without the donut.

We went to a contemporary service which was different. I have always been partial to formality when having the “fear of god” driven into me, but here you can wear jeans and drink coffee right there in the service. There was a “rock band” which was cute. I was scared they would be like Stryper or Jars of Clay or something. They basically just sang regular hymns but with a guitar and drums instead of a pipe organ. I am hoping to have a religious epiphany, but if that doesn’t happen at least it keeps me from going overboard at Target on Sunday mornings. I think it will happen though. Why not right? I gotta have faith…queue George Micheal here.

Finally, a picture. Apparently we don’t have enough children, they have decided to recruit others into the fold. Here is At-man, Em, Mae and their cousin Chloe on Thanksgiving