Em does not eat. He somehow mysteriously manages to remain off the charts in height and weight, yet there are entire days that I cannot record a single food item actually being ingested. I have tried to hold off on his milk so he would be more hungry, next came giving him the milk early so he wasn’t “too hungry” to eat. At his one year check up I had casually mentioned to his doctor his preference for spitting out any solid food that was lucky enough to actually make it past his lips and she actually recommended an eating therapist. Now poor little Em and I have to spend our rare “just the two of us” time not eating at the therapists office. Of course as in any facet of parenting we have irony, the child who will eat nothing I serve him, will immediately put any item he finds on the floor into his mouth. If there was any possibility that I could get my linoleum clean enough for him to eat off of without the simple idea of it making me sick, this situation would very likely be a non-issue.

The truly bizarre thing is that it bothers me as much as it does. At-man actually threw up at almost every meal from 6 months to 1 1/2 years. No, I am not kidding. Yes, it is unbelievable we actually had another child. Eventually his gag reflex weakened and he grew into one of those kids who 90% of the time jogs by the dinner table, stops to sniff his plate and then proudly declares he is “full”. The other 10% it’s keep any valuables out of the way, because if he sees it he is going to eat it.

Every time I see a toddler happily wolfing down a banana, or taking yet another bite of their very own double cheese burger I have to wonder what I could possibly be doing wrong. Having come of age in the 1980’s, a time when all women had to weigh 110 lbs and the only acceptable form of exercise involved terry cloth headbands and Jane Fonda, god knows I have eating issues. Had I a teenage daughter, I would be the first person to take responsibility for her twisted views on food. With two boys under four years old, well, I just never expected it.

Anyway, I guess this is all on my mind because we are having some rough afternoons due, I would guess, to excessive hunger. People who tell you to let kids be, “When they are hungry, they will eat…” never met Em. He won’t eat, and in response, he only gets madder because he is so hungry. Right now it feels like a pretty endless cycle but I know one day when puberty sets in he will most probably be eating everything in the house and oh my how we will laugh.