I am sitting on the couch checking out the ladies figure skating short program. How crazy is figure skating? It just doesn’t seem possible for the average person to slide out on the ice and start twirling around like that. Anybody can run, albeit not as fast as your average Olympian but it’s easier to feel like you could if you really tried. I was raised in a town in New York where it’s more rare to find someone who can’t ice skate than can’t swim. Crank up some ABBA and I can skate circles around the rink, no problem. It’s all the little spins and the total lack of cellulite that draws me in. I could do Arial jumps around the rink for hours 7 days a week but I cannot fathom ever showing my face in public in one of those sparkly mini’s.

On the home front, Em is back on his hunger strike. We went to see Dr. Mears today to find that he has a double ear infection, not to mention a pretty rough looking sinus cavity. Here was the last thing I wanted to hear from my pediatrician today…”At least he doesn’t have the flu like all the other kids I’ve seen today.” Great! Now not only is his entire head full of bacteria, he has the added bonus of exposure to the flu. So do I! Awesome! After battling stomach viruses, runny noses, ear infections and high fevers for the past 4 weekends, well I don’t know if I have a flu battle in me. My washing machine is about to pack up and hit the road if anyone else so much thinks about barfing in anything other than the toilet, and 17 month olds aren’t exactly known for their aim.

At-man is at the tail end of his own special “festival de’sinus”. He is picking up all of Em’s slack by eating absolutely everything in sight. I swear I am going to wake up tomorrow and find he has pulled an “Incredible Hulk” and grown out of his pajamas in his sleep. One thing about being the only female in a veritable “pencil party” is the knowledge that providing I don’t develop a taste for eating nothing but cake and whole chickens, my children will be much bigger than me one day. Judging by D’s side of the family, that day may not be too far off. If it’s true what they say about doubling your height at age 2 to find your adult height, At-man should stand at about 6′1, and I can’t even imagine Em. At 2 1/2 years the junior, he is only 7 lbs smaller than his big bro. At least I’ll have plenty of help reaching things in the top cabinet in my future.

And now…Back to the Olympics…

Men’s speed skating is on now. Their outfits remind me of that Woody Allen movie. ” Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex…But Were Afraid to Ask“. You know…”the sperm scene”. Speed skaters look like fast gliding multi-colored sperm. Maybe they just need a Bedazzler. Then they could be sparkly sperm. That would ROCK!