They Don’t Tell You This In Lamaze Class
Do you know what it’s like right now? It’s like I still need to do everything I did before AND lose my mind at the same time. I make the beds, breakfast, off to school, work, run, shower, dinner, errands, bath, bed time, pay bills, answer email, laundry…you name it. These are the things I have done all along. “So what has changed?” you may ask. I now get to do them with BOTH a non-stop commentary delivered by a 5 year old who, I am sure, is the un-official world record holder for most words uttered in a single afternoon…AND a 2 year old who has recently decided that screaming until his face turns red is hysterically funny. And can you ever get enough funny? Apparently he thinks not.
Who ever would have thought it would be possible to love someone so much, when they spend every waking moment of their day talking…or screeching even? No one tells you this before you have kids, and if they did, would you believe them? In the moments between reaching for an Advil you may actually love them even more, because really the chatter is kind of cute. Not so much the screaming, but what can you do?
Kiss silence goodbye my friend. And while your at it, say farewell to half your IQ. I can feel the brain cells oozing out of my ears as I listen to At-man spin winding tales of blue Power Rangers and how peanut butter is made while Em channels a Kabuki style tale of a cat being skinned alive.
I know, I know…I’m only a few more years away from a post in which I complain about why my sons never tell me anything. I will be sorry I didn’t appreciate car rides filled with chatter about “When can we go to Cocoa Beach?” and “What is Bologna made of?”, “If Spiderman wears black, is he then a bad guy?” and my favorite… AAAAKKKKKKKKAAAAKKKKKK!!!!!! (from Em).
They are both sound asleep now, quiet except for Em’s snoring. He has an ear infection which always causes some serious log sawing. They are all sweet and snuggly and silent and when they’re quiet like this it’s easy to think that all the racket isn’t so bad at all. Sometimes I actually miss it.
Hi Hipster Mom!
I have enjoyed reading the last few posts on your blog! I also have a son who had a penchant for non-stop commentary when he was five! (It gets easier!) I found your blog from links on the BlogHer website. I am a health educator and a freelance writer, and I am looking for a mom to interview for a parenting article. I didn’t see a way to email you, so I am posting this as a comment. I know you are a busy mom, but if you would have a few mintues, I would love to speak with you, or email is fine too. You can email me back at the address I typed in above. I look forward to hearing back from you!
Thank you!
Comment by Sonya — January 26, 2007 @ 12:11 am
They didn’t tell you about the noise in Lamaze? Perhaps I took a different class-they told me…No quiet, no sleepy, no alone timey. None of that.
Actually, nothing is your own once you have kids.
Your breasts used to belong to you, and then your husband, and then your kids. Your Va-Jay-Jay, sadly, has been used and abused, and nothing belongs to you anymore.
Terrible terrible sadness.
I thought that my maxi pads were the only I had left to myself until my kid decided to use them as WINGS!
Comment by Latia — February 2, 2007 @ 9:40 pm
Oh, how I can relate….and I only have ONE….and he is only 19 months old!! LOL!
Just came across your blog and I love your profile. It is hilarious and I can totally relate. I also wanted to comment that you have two adorable boys and you look a bit like Gwyneth Paltrow. No, I’m not a weird stalker, but you mentioned the red haired chick from that 70’s show and I agree with you that it’s probably just the hair.
Comment by The Ma — February 8, 2007 @ 10:26 pm